My Prison

Lose Yourself

2005-09-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted…One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won’t come out
He’s chokin, how everybody’s jokin now
The clock’s run out, time’s up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He’s so mad, but he won’t give up that easy
Is he? No
He won’t have it , he knows his whole back city’s ropes
It don’t matter, he’s dope
He knows that, but he’s broke
He’s so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that’s when it’s
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap shit
He better go capture this moment and hope it don’t pass him

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul’s escaping, through this hole that it’s gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardom’s close to post mortar
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows its all over, these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he’s know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He’s grown farther from home, he’s no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
These ho's don’t want him no mo, he’s cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it’s old potna, but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

No more games, I’ma change what you call rage
Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody’s payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can’t get by with my 9 to 5
And I can’t provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don’t buy diapers
And it’s no movie, there’s no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it’s getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter totter, caught up between bein a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama’s screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day of monotomy
Has gotten me to the point, I’m like a snail
I’ve got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothaf****** option, failure’s not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer has got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem’s lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

Its a beautiful day.

2005-07-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah got up early and took my doggie for a walk... Had made up my mind that today would definitely be a better weekend than most weekends. Found out it was... had plans of watching Batman returns but then Bangalore roads n PVR are traffic zones on weekends.
Decide what the heck will take chances....
Called up a friend, with whom spent rest of the day loafing ; ) ...Went to "Brigade" road and guess what "War of the Worlds" just released but will i get tickets?...again what the heck "Batman begins" was a plan not meant to be so why not not "get up again n move on"...tried n voila...luck has it that we were meant to see the movie!!! Even if not worth the hype ; )
Weather kept its hide n seek on till later in the afternoon thought of doing some sundry shopping...i know, its not like only women shop...MEN TOO have at times the inclination of squandering.
Bought Noo shoes and a backpack. Hhhmmm the people at "get_off_ur_ass" place gave ideas of some nice camping...will definitely give it a go.
Started heading back home when rain gods thought of joining the weatherman in doing some "lukka-chipee".
Had to take shelter under a tree barely the size of a palm leaf...got soaked to the bone. Wished had some romantic interlude then but you can't have your cake and eat it too....get it and save for a later date he he he...
But the glistening surface of the tarred road soaked in rain water reflecting the shine of a setting sun and a long stretch of nofoundland at that...wow what a sight and an amazing ride that was with wind blowing my hat away as i competed to beat it. simply put - an "awesome bike ride"....
Settled down more or less back at home coz tomorrow have to head to Leeela palace Bangaluru and meet this lady who could be the giving a new direction to my life...
Till then a long night awaits me and more so a better dawn...

Finally i think i am beginning to clear my posts of the junk which i fill them with like in previous posts.... let others decide says mind ; )

Getting things done for good.

2005-06-30T23:41:00.000-07:00

Am sitting at office, a nice plush IT mnc offered a decorated cage...
well all offices are if you get tired of doing the monotonous stuff that is asked of you...and whats driving me crazy is the stuff i have been thinking of lately...

A regular at PG(pagalguy) after two failed attempts at CAT and now all i do is get jittery about hoards of things i could have done with my time ....
feel more so after reading up the blogs of guys from these institutes and the wannabes...but i have my battles to win : ) no time for regrets.

Trying to get some perspective in life,my last post speaks volumes of this,the way i churn out ideas that pay visit like uninvitied guests...but am determined today more than ever to get things right.
I am trying to persue a relationship with this gal but she doesn't give "Bhaav"...on top of that when i read in a site about not sweating over girlfriends??? man did i get pissed @#')# ...anger management?? Don't think want to read anything like that...boxing someone would do : ) coz i believe that its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ..but so much for free speech.
Now at office the test cases have to be executed but a recent skermish with the manager has changed the tone of relationshis - pr skills?? Have a window open to find out if Men n women can be friends? Trying to find console from articles that things shall go fine...che che...low self confidence. But still believe in getting over the sweat for small stuff...not to worry about pennies when millions can be earned$$$.
Also Its a tough job with this situation and am trying to focus on preparing for a competitive exam,one day i'll look back at and feel- dude..why did i sweat over these?.....
But then the thoughts had come to mind and were dear -trap of mind. Had to entertain them and move on. Still struggling...

Luch Break...

Journey continues...

Don't know why i get so overwhelmed by emotions and information which i can't seem to make sense of? Anybody out there...a kind soul, please let me know if things are really wrong this side.

Heard that Vivek Paul of IT gaint Wipro quit, was earning 1.9 crores/annum...Wahow!!! Whole lot of money man for a year...me when do i start earning like that...these guys have it figured out or atleast better prepared or something... who cares, now am feeling better...Blog Blog where have you been, sweet medicine for my insane whims ; )

Have loads of stuff to post at home on comp...but now that my secret desires and raging hormones are under control, guess i better leave them "unblogged" for future date.
PS:
Man this blog today drove me crazy but at the end of it calmed me down as well...Phew, let this day pass by and i'll be back to you -know-what : Setting things right. right?

Feel blogging is journal keeping, but how do i really feel about it? About anything really? Wakaw.

Insanity n insecurity drive crazy ...

2005-06-15T23:32:00.000-07:00

Alright as insanity mixed with impatience has paid its visit to me
today i'ld like to see it through by opening up this blog text.

May be am felling insecure about ideas flooding my mind and all
screaming to be done asap ...why as if there'll be no tomorrow : )

Anyway...maybe my organizer of mobile has seen enough, time to give my
blog its fair share of thoughts...

Above all i want to look back and see for self if all this serious n
impulsive thinking led me to somewhere, someplace or not.

Here's one ..i was thinking how we sometimes shy away or are scared of
experiencing things in life...atleast everything should be given a go
at one point or another so that we realize how much of what we can
have.Moderation would be perfect but then its hard to quantify that
isn't it? Heres one instance...
Most of us may have enjoyed good health..i had the luxury of enjoying
games like squash and having a good diet but even i used to lack things
in my nutrition....so i decided to give this theory a shot...start from
lack of things n go onto excess of things passing moderation...now my
body shall decide at what point in this spectrum it felt comforatble
thereby defining moderation for itself...

Maybe this sounds lame but i feel good to understand that someday i'll
get back to take a look at things and maybe join some of you who would
laugh at such insane theories or the others who benefited from it.
Time shall tell where i'll belong and yes..i know there is a tommorrow
so bye for now.Period.

Why God did you make me blog?

2005-06-10T04:11:00.000-07:00

Finally the day has arrived, when i am actually doing what i have been wanting to...
Strange powers and favourable planetary alignmnets have made it possible for me to
unravel my minds trappings...
First steps towards the land filled with promises and experiences yet to be explored.
Feels good to have started.
A step n two all the time but do side step once in a while...

Nayee shuruaat.